My Legacy, My Future
by call.me.alex
Summary: SEQUEL TO MY STORY, MY LIFE. Ashley's out of the closet. Kind of? What if no matter how much to tries to with hold the inevitable, it still comes back to haunt her. Can Spencer really be what Ashley needs or wants? SOME MIGHT BE IN SPENCER POV
1. Chapter 1

**My Legacy, My Future pt. 1**

**A/N: Okay, so this is the sequel of "My Story, My Life." Basically, it's set to several months later. Ashley is now in college and Spencer is a senior in high school. So yeah, review if you want, and I'll most def try to get back at you guys and gals asap. Uhm, I'm also open to ideas, so if you have any, throw 'em at me. Okay, so enjoy. **

The smile she caused only a few minutes ago, still lingers on your face. You quickly grab your books, because you can't be late. It'd be a bad impression to be late to your music class, especially since you've finally decided to make it your major. You remember the day you got your acceptance letter. The day you made the Symphonic band. the day you got into that prestigious vocal class, because you're finally going to start singing all those songs. At first, you weren't even going to try out, but you needed to bring that back to your life. It always seemed to help when things got bad.

You glance at the two pictures on your mirror. One is from home, the one with you and Spencer, and the other is new. You met someone named Amanda recently, and you two hit it off, and just by chance, you ended up being room mates. You know it probably will never get farther than friends, and it really doesn't bother you. You still feel like you don't need a girlfriend, just a friend.

By the time you reach the music building, your mind drifts to another time. You remember that day you met Spencer.

_I walked into the band room. I didn't feel the need to look around in awe as some other kids did. I already knew this room. I already knew these people. As I took a seat, I noticed a girl sat next to me that I hadn't recognized. I just merely thought she was new. It wasn't like me to talk to kids like her. I glanced at what she was wearing. The shoes, I didn't mind so much, because who _can't _admire a good pair of Chuck's? But as far as her clothes, someone should tell her how to match and to shop at stores _besides _Abercrombie and Shit. _

"_Hi, I'm Spencer. And you are?" she asked, holding at her hand._

_At first, I merely looked at her hand, as if it were a foreign object. _

"_Uh…" smart answer, smart answer. "Today, I haven't decided yet."_

_She laughed at me, and I smiled back. I had just now noticed her blue eyes. They were beautiful. You could drown yourself in them. _

"_I'm Ashley," I said, when our laughter finally died down._

You shake your head, and push away your memory. Knowing it won't help at all.

You haven't seen her since that one day on the beach. She called you so many times, you eventually blocked her number. You were just so ready to start over. You now live in a dorm, an hour away from her, and life feels a lot better now. You've heard stories, and rumors about her, but truth be told, you don't care anymore. Or at least that's what you tell yourself day in and day out.

You were never one for smoking, but you can still taste the poisons in your mouth, even though it was at least twenty minutes since your last drag. Your therapists is still that creepy guy you can't really stand, and the only reason why you still go, is because shockingly, he knows what he's talking about.

You still occasionally talk to Tally, that one girl you met online, but not like how you used to. It's understandable though. You're both in college now, and things aren't the same anymore. You don't depend on each other as much, or at least you're trying not to.

"Hey Ash. Someone called. They left you a message," Amanda said, as soon as I walked into our dorm.

"Oh. Who was it?" I asked, looking down at the message.

"Uhm, some girl. I think her name was Summer? Not sure. I wrote her name down on the note."

"Not Summer you dufous, Spencer."

_How did she even get this number?_

"Are you gonna call her back, or just stare at the sheet of paper?" Amanda said giggling. She was so adorable sometimes. I'm almost positive that if she wasn't straight, I'd date her.

"Uhm, I don't think I'm going to call her," I finally replied, my eyes finally leaving the note.

"Huh, how come?"

"It's a long story."

"Oh, well not that my opinion matters or anything, but she sounded upset."

"Of course your opinion matters Amanda. Maybe I will call her. But I'll have to do it tomorrow. I think she's in school right now."

"Okay. So, are we still up for that rave tonight?" Amanda asked, her face immediately lighting up.

Amanda loved parties and raves. She always made me go, just in case she wanted to make a guy "get lost." She'd just grab me, and say that we were together. It never bothered me. I was just there to be a good friend. Most of the time, I had a lot of fun anyways.

"Yeah, of course. I'd never leave you to fend for yourself!"

She laughed and ran off to her next class.

My eyes slowly adjust as Amanda and I enter the club. The only thing I hate about these places is the lighting. It drives me nuts. That and fucking glow sticks.

"Hey, I'm gonna grab a drink. What do you want?" Amanda asked.

"Just water," I replied.

"Okay, I'll be right back."

"Okay," I said, watching her walk towards the bar.

I took a look around, trying to see if there were any people that I knew. I froze when I noticed someone standing in the corner, wearing what appeared to be a light blue dress. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Amanda come back towards me.

"Hey, what exactly did you and Spencer talk about over the phone?" I asked Amanda.

"Nothing really. I mean, she asked me to tell you she called, and she said she was an old friend. Oh, and I invited her to hang with us tonight."

"What?!"

"Why? Is that a problem Ash?"

"Uh, yeah, just a little bit."

"How come? I thought she was your friend?"

"Yeah, key word: was. Like two years ago Amanda!"

"I don't see what the big deal is. Just go over there. She's actually kind of hot Ash. Go dance with her."

"Ugh, Amanda I swear--"

She pushed me towards the blonde.

"I'm serious, otherwise you're doing body shots with me."

One thing about Amanda, was that as straight as she was, she absolutely _loved _body shots with other girls. As for me, the whole "body" part I didn't mind, I just _so _wasn't in the mood for a hangover.

"Ugh, okay okay, I'm going."

"Hi Spencer," I said shyly. _What the fuck? I don't get shy!_

"Hi," her face lit right up. "I really didn't think I'd get to see you. I was afraid--"

"Wanna dance?" I asked, interrupting her.

Her grin grew even bigger, and she blushed slightly.

"I'd love too."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So this is part two, and I'm thinking there might be two or three more parts, but I'm not entirely sure yet. Just for future reference, I'm not much for writing sappy/happy endings at the moment, so if that's what you're looking for, I'm not the author you should be chasing. Lol. Anyways, enjoy guys and gals. Tell me what you think. **

**My Legacy, My Future pt. 2**

She grabbed my hand and led me to the center of the hot and sweaty mob. She stood in front of me, with her back up against my chest. As soon as she started to move, I knew this was something that was going to come back and bite me in the ass. She and I were starting to move so deliciously together, and for a while, I couldn't even remember my own name. This was what she did to me in normal situations, but the fact that she and I were practically fucking with clothes on, was making things that much worse. Up until this point, my hands had merely laid on her hips, but what the hell, I might as well enjoy whatever I can get, so my right hand was drawing circles on her stomach. I could tell it was driving her crazy just by the moans that she elicited. After a few minutes, she turned around and faced me, our eyes immediately locking.

"I want you. So bad Ash," she said, and it took everything I had _not _to groan.

"You know we can't," I replied.

She stopped moving, and so consequently, so did I.

"Why Ashley? Why can't you just believe me? Things can be different now."

I grabbed her hand, and we walked outside. This was a conversation that couldn't take place at a rave. When we finally got outside, I almost immediately regretted coming out here. The mixture of my body sweat, and the late night breeze was make me shiver, and not in a good way.

"Things can't be the way you want with the snap of your fingers Spencer," I finally said.

She was hugging herself, and I wasn't sure if it was because she was cold, or if it was in order to keep her self calm.

"I'm not asking for that. I'm only asking that we try. I _know _you feel something for me. I see it in your eyes. I saw it every time I kissed Aiden a few years ago. I saw it when I told you that he and I had sex. It all _hurt _you. Just like I can never lie to you, you can't lie to me. I could _always_ see right through you. That's why you never _once _had a boyfriend in high school. I mean, I know you were asked plenty of times, because I'd always hear a few of Aiden's friends making bets on who'd fuck you first. Do you know what?"

"What?"

"I was always put into those bets. Even _other _people saw it Ash!"

I looked down at the ground.

"I'm not good enough Spence."

She walked up to me, and our faces were so very close, I could swear that she wanted to kiss me.

"But you are, for me, you'll always be more than enough. You always protected me. You always looked out for me. You were the only one who understood me. You were my best friend, and all I ever did was hurt you. Ash, I can't tell you how sorry I am. That day we fought almost two years ago, you were right. I wasn't there."

_I watched them kiss by her locker, and it wasn't like it had been the first time, but it still hurt. Aiden wasn't an all too bad guy. I mean, for the most part, he was good to Spencer. They had been together for 6 months now, and truth be told, I wasn't sure how much more I could take. I had to go get some air._

_I walked outside, and headed to "our" spot. There was a clearing of grass, at the very edge of the school grounds. Not many people went there, and whether it was because no one really knew it was there, or because they merely chose not to go there, I never knew. Either way, I was thankful. I needed to be alone and think. _

"_Hey. Something told me you'd be here," she said as she sat next to me. _

_I was sitting with my knees to my chest, a habit that I had learned from her._

"_Yeah. I just needed to think."_

_She laughed, "About what?"_

"_None of your business."_

"_Oh, okay. I'm sorry."_

_I let out a heavy sigh._

"_No, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. I just—ugh, I don't want to talk about it."_

"_Okay, then what do you want to talk about?"_

"_Nothing," replied, staring up at the sky._

"_Ash, why are you getting so distant lately?"_

"_I'm not. You're the one that's always too busy sucking face to make time for her freidns."_

_She stood up._

"_What the fuck, Ash?!"_

_That's how I could tell she was really upset. She rarely cussed. When the thought crossed my mind, it was a slight turn on, but then I quickly remembered _why _she had cussed and I felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of cold ice on me. _

_I stood up and met her actions, putting my hands in my pockets._

"_It's true Spence and you know it. Where were you last Friday?"_

"_With Aiden. I had dinner with him. What does _that _have to do with anything?"_

"_Just goes to show how _much _you know!"_

"_What does that mean?"_

"_I needed you! I called you twelve times! Not once, not twice, twelve times! My dad died, and you weren't even there!"_

_I didn't want to stick around to hear what she had to say, so I left, urging the tears away._

"…That day we fought almost two years ago, you were right. I wasn't there."

"Is that supposed to make me forgive you?"

She looked down at her feet.

"No," she whispered.

"I'm so tired Spence. I'm so tired of living like this. I just want to forget my past, and I feel like I can't of I'm near you. I _need _to forget Spence. Yes, you're right; I am in love with you. I have been since the first day I met you. But I just can't do this with you. I'm sorry. Who knows, maybe we can at least be friends? But for now, that's all I can offer."

All she could do was nod her head, as tears fell down her face.

I cupped both sides of her face, and kissed her forehead, whispering "I forgive you blue eyes."

You aren't exactly sure how you'll feel about all of this tomorrow, but part of you really doesn't care. You know that you aren't what Spencer needs at the moment, and that she's not what you need at the moment either. Both of you know that you have to grow first. You know that you have to at least be friends first. You have to start over, because more than anything, you want to do things right this time around, or at lest try to. Because deep down inside, you know you'd rather have her as your friend, than her nothing at all.

**A/N: Next part in Spencer's POV? What do you guys think?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay, so the first part of this update is in Spencer's POV, but the rest is in Ashley's. Maybe the next update will be the same way. Anyways, just to warn you guys, I don't think this is my best work, but whatev's. Lol. Enjoy everyone. **

**My Legacy, My Future pt. 3 (Spencer's POV)**

You watch her walk away, you stand there: defeated. The tears that have been streaming down your face are now just dried up memories. You want, more than anything for her to turn around, and realize that she made a mistake, and who knows maybe she will.

So you wait. Ten minutes, and the panic fully starts to settle in. She's _not _coming back. You look towards the direction she went, but nothing. You let out a huge sigh, and head to your car. You still have a long drive home. You weren't ready to go back home.

You look at the time, and you realize that by the time you get home, it'll be one in the morning. You know that your parents will kill you, so you do the only thing you can think of, you call them and tell them how you fell asleep at Ashley's and you'd just leave early the next morning. Why early? Well, because your mother would _never _let you miss church. Funny, you're a Catholic, and you're in love: with another girl.

You decide to just spend the night at some cheap hotel. You thank God that you thought about bringing cash, just in case. You lay in bed and wonder when the last time the sheets were washed. You shiver at the idea of others being in _that _very bed. All of the sudden, you hear noise in the room next to you. At first, you think nothing of it. You merely think that some teenage couple is fucking, or maybe a gold digger is doing her boss. Then, you hear something that totally switches your trail of thought.

"Ugh, Ashley!"

_What the hell?!_

"God, Amanda, you have to stay quiet."

"Ashley, I don't wanna."

_What the hell?! How are these walls that thin! Wait, Ashley?_

I walk out of my room, and walk to the door next to mine. I start knocking, and wait for the perpetrator to open the door.

"Spencer?!"

Oh God, I think I'm going to be sick.

Suddenly, everything got black.

You don't remember how you got here. You don't know how you changed, you only know that you're now lying in a bed that obviously is _not _yours, and your clothes are neatly folded on the chair to your left. You take a look around. It wasn't the hospital, and you were slightly thankful for that. You look again and you notice two other people in the room. One is on a different bed, while the other seems to be sleeping uncomfortably on the floor. You smile, because no matter how much she hurt you earlier, you can't help but think of how cute she is right now: Her hair falling flawlessly around her face; a small blanket barely covering her; her tank riding up and her boy shorts are somewhat showing.

You attempt to get up, because more than anything right now, you want to kiss her, and thank her. You have no idea why she brought you here, but honestly you don't care. You walk towards her slowly and sit next to her, running your fingertips across her back and shoulders. She starts to stir, and you know she'll soon open her eyes. You lay beside her, so that you two are face to face.

"Morning," I said, smiling.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked, looking worried. She looked so cute.

"I am now."

"Okay, good because I need to take you home soon."

"What, why?" I asked.

"Your mom called not too long ago. You missed church and I had to say that you got food poisoning so she didn't rush over to kick my ass."

"Aw, Ash, that's so sweet!"

She quickly stood up.

"Yeah, no prob," she replied, slightly agitated.

**Ashley's POV (Last Night at the hotel)**

"Okay Amanda, where's your bag again?"

"Ugh, I don't remember. I think I threw it somewhere around the bed."

"Okay, wait right here, let me look under the bed."

"Wooh! Ash, let's go back to that rave! I wanna dance some more!"

"Amanda, can you please be quiet?"

"Ugh, Ashley!"

_Fuck, she's always like this when she's drunk._

"God Amanda, you have to stay quiet!"

"Ashley, I don't wanna."

Suddenly we both snap our heads towards the door.

"Was that a knock?" I whisper.

"I think so," Amanda replied, whispering for the first time tonight.

I walked towards the door and slowly opened it.

"Spencer?!"

_Thump!_

"Oh my God, Spence, are you okay?" I said, as I kneeled down next to her. I lightly slapped her face, trying to get her to wake up.

"I found it!" Amanda screamed.

"Come on, Spencer just passed out."

Amanda came and sat down beside me.

"Should we take her to the hospital?"

"No, her mom would flip." I stood up and picked up Spencer. "Come on, we can take her to our dorm. She can sleep in my bed."

When we got into our room, Amanda had now sobered up for the most part. She changed Spencer and put her clothes on my desk chair. We laid her in my bed.

"Ashley, can you fill me in? I'm so lost right now. Who is she? Why'd she pass out?"

"Okay, I guess I owe you an explanation. Her name is Spencer Carlin, and she was once my best friend. I kind of fell in love with her, and we became more distant. And then, uhm, last year she told me she loved me too, and I just left. And when she showed up at the rave last night, we danced. I told I couldn't be with her. And I left, again. When she came to the hotel last night, I think when she saw you, she probably thought--"

"That we were 'hooking up'?"

"Yeah," I replied, nodding.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why'd you leave the first time?"

"Truthfully, I didn't think either of us was ready for what've come. I was going to college, an hour away, and part of me wondered if she meant it, or if she was just saying it to get me to stay."

"Oh. I'm sorry, but I gotta be honest here. I think you're being unfair. Have you even sat and listened to her about how she _does _feel?"

That question hit me harder than I'd ever think.

You know you should fall asleep, because it'll be time to wake up soon, but you can't help the urge to keep your eyes open. She's lying peacefully in your bed, and you smile knowing that you'll still be able to smell her on your sheets later. She smiles in her sleep from time to time, and you wonder what she's dreaming about. You secretly hope it's you. You remember how much you hurt her, and then all of the guilt sinks in. you back away from her and lie on the ground. Shutting your eyes, you wait for your tears to drain you, and you fall asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Alright everyone, this is it! The last part! Hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you think. **

**My Legacy, My Future pt. 4 (Spencer's POV)**

She hasn't spoken to me since we got into her car almost 45 minutes ago. I knew we'd be at my house within the next 10 to 15 minutes, and I really needed to know what she was thinking.

"Ash?" I asked, turning to face her.

"Yeah?" she asked, keeping her eyes to the road.

"I owe you an explanation."

"For what?"

"For deserting you."

"Oh. Don't worry, you don't have to. I don't care anymore."

I think part of my heart fell apart.

"But I want to, I need to."

She pulled over and got out of the car, waiting for me to do the same.

"Okay, now talk."

I took a deep breath.

"I fell for you Ash, and I got scared."

"Scared of what Spence? Scared of me, scared of what'd I think? Scared that I wouldn't love you back?"

"All of that, and so much more. I was scared to lose you."

"You did lose me Spence, but not because you told me how you felt. You stopped being my friend. You hurt me so much. You made me think that you hated me! Do you have any idea how that feels? To love someone, and to have them break your heart, over and over again. True, I know I hurt you, but you killed me."

I reached out and cupped her face. I wanted more than to kiss her at that moment.

"Just…let us start over. I really want to start over Ash. Please?"

I was begging, and I really didn't care.

She breathed in deeply and stepped closer to me.

"Okay, let's start over," she whispered.

Her hands went to my hips, and she pulled is together, our lips crashing.

You begin to float away, and nothing else matters. All the pain you caused each other seems to be fading with every second that passes by. Before you know what's happening, you're at your house, dragging her into your bedroom. You smile at each other. You've wanted this for so long that it's felt like forever. You coexist as one in simple moments like this. You don't know what tomorrow holds for the both of you, but you do know you'll be there together, at least for now.

**Ashley's POV**

A/N: This is about scenes throughout this story--as well as from My Life, My Story--where Ashley could've changed things, and how she feels about it all _now._

I started to walk away from her, and as I walk, my smile never fades. Even as I hear her yell and call my name, I never once turn around. It wasn't until I was almost at my car, that I heard something that made me freeze in my tracks.

"I'm in love with you Ashley."

You turn around. You wonder what would happen if you walk towards her and kiss her, or if you go and just tell her that you feel the exact same way. You do. You do all of this, because you know it'll work. You don't think you could handle anymore pain by staying away from her.

So you just walk closer, to her, and towards something else, and quite possibly, something _better_. Who knows, maybe somewhere done the road, you'll marry her, and things will be different. Maybe someday you can have kids. Or maybe, you wonder if this whole thing could just merely be a dream and you'll wake up tomorrow morning, and all of this will seem kind of funny.

Either way, you know that you'll go home tonight and write about it all, just like you've done the past three years of your life. You'll sit at your desk, and open that one document that slowly grows every day. It's signed with your name, so that _everyone _knows that this is _your_ story, and you want to be the _only_ one to tell it, no matter how painful it might be.

So that leaves you to where you are now. You walk these halls, along side the other freshman. You don't exactly smile the way you used to, your smile is bigger. You smile for different reasons these days. You smile because you know you're no longer hiding, and you know that as soon as you go home and open your computer, you're "you" again. You're_ dating_ the girl that opened you up in 8th grade. You _don't_ miss the girl you had a crush on in 9th grade. You get joy from the simplest beauty in the world, and everything always becomes better at night, while you sit on AIM and talk to your new girlfriend.

It all changes when I become Ashley, 19 year old--out and proud--lesbian


End file.
